this comic from the wonderful jorge cham explains it all. this is exactly how i’ve felt the last 6 weeks, and especially what i’m not looking forward to for the next 2 weeks…
Dear Proposal,
You will not be the end of me. I refuse to let the task of coming up with 60 daunting pages of information to be the downfall of my week. Yes, I understand the significance of getting you completed by April, despite knowing how many hours of sleep I will loose during this time. I also understand how “unfair” it is to my life partner and close friends, even though I have to constantly tell them that I am not in control of my life, but that you are. This is not an easy task either. So please, have a little mercy. So if I promise to give it my all will you cooperate and not be so difficult. thanks.
love, me
so today i found out that i passed my comps. so excited! it has been a long road, but now i can see some light at the end of the tunnel. naturally, after getting this news i managed to slack off and only type 6 words of my dissertation. (got to do better….) however, i did manage to get my office looking nice and organized. let’s see what tomorrow brings.
things i learned today:
(1) the smallest thing can put someone right over the edge (office mate making noise and using words that i can’t possibly repeat)
(2) academia has no money. i repeat. no money. can i get a piece of paper please?
(3) i didn’t bring enough for lunch and DON”T feel like cooking dinner. sushi anyone?
(4) trying to get anything done after 5pm is a wash. (hence why i’m blogging)
I’d like to try this blogging thing again. i have all these things to say, but yet i’ve found it hard to put the words into a funny anecdote that will entice my 2.5 readers. that being said, i’m going to make a commitment to blog the the road to finishing my doctoral degree and getting a job. who knows what might happen along the way. i hope to share a few laughs, challenges, and words of advice/lessons learned to anyone who dares to read. so, here it goes….
today is the day that i begin my journey towards the job market. after talking with my chair the other day, he reminded me that i have a mere 10 months to do ALL of the following:
finalize a research topic
finish my coursework
take prelims
write the first three chapters of the dissertaion
defend proposal
get published (yes, that’s right…in a top journal)
oh and while i’m attempting to accomplish all of this, i will also continue teaching both sections of a course.
i haven’t made much progress, but i’m hoping the last 2 weeks of october will prove to be very productive. right now i’m trying to come up with a viable research topic. this has got to be the most difficult part. If only a topic would fall into my lap like the master’s thesis. hmph, to be so lucky twice.
let’s see what a little reading, jotting of ideas, and a decent night’s sleep can do…..
so today, my students decided to test me. yes, that’s right. test my patience. test my ability to stay calm. test my academic-fu that was fostered by a wonderful public school education. and test my nerves. i still can’t believe it. they had the nerve to come to class unprepared by NOT reading the assigned chapter. now i know some of you reading this are thinking “duh, they are in undergrad. they don’t and won’t read” or “ummm, get over it, it’s normal” or “hahahah can’t believe you care that much”. well let me just say that i do care and i’m still in disbelief that they had the nerve to come up in my class, unprepared, and fix their lips to say the dreaded and unapologetic “i don’t know” when i ask them a simple question that required common sense and basic knowledge of the topic!!! maybe i’m over-reacting. probably. but i spend hours, yes hours, preparing a lecture for these kids and they don’t even care. it’s not like i have assigned papers or group projects every week. they have it pretty easy. a quick assignment here or there, not much else. we do one chapter a week and the material is very interesting.
i was so bothered by the events yesterday that i can’t even bring myself to think about the lecture for tomorrow. i’m hoping that by some miracle the students actually read the 2nd half of the chapter. i have nice activity planned for tomorrow that requires classroom participation. this would be my attempt to salvage some of the long stressful hours i put in on monday night preparing for the week. i discussed the situation with my advisor and few fellow grad students. here’s the outcome along with my comments…
so look out students! the nice grad instructor that you have had the privilege of knowing the past 4 weeks just might turn out to be your worst nightmare. if i don’t see a change in behavior by next week then it’s on!
it’s friday evening and i’m sitting in a coffeehouse working. yep. working. friday is the only day during the week where i don’t have any obligations to campus. so i have decided to use this day to take care of me. this would include any house keeping, washing clothes, and catching up on missed sleep from the week. well today i did just that. i didn’t make it into work mode until late in the afternoon, which is why i’m just now getting into my groove at the coffeehouse. needless to say, while sitting here i’ve realized just how lonely the graudate life i’ve chosen (key word) truly is. over the last few years, my department has gone from a group of singles to a group of individuals who are now married, married + kids, or dating someone locally. there are really on a couple of us who are single, or alone here in the “city”. it’s funny, i am surrounded by different nationalities, cultures, various campus events, and even an organization of other grad students who share similar interests, but i still feel this overwhelming sense of loneliness.
i guess this started earlier today when i was thinking about the significance of today. it has been 8 years. yes, eight years since we were terrified beyond belief at the craziness that was going on in NYC. At the time I was working as an engineer at a large product development company in new jersey and everything felt so close to home. i can remember my friends/co-workers standing around in bewilderment as we watched the first tower burning as the second one was hit. it was way too close for all of us there in that office. no work was done. people were frantically trying, unsuccessful of course, to reach friends, relative, or just acquaintances who were in the city. it was chaos and humbling all at the same time. sitting here now, thinking about that time and about how everyone i love and care for is someplace else in the country, or world for that matter. i find myself missing the days of undergrad life, the job right out of college, my time in other countries, holidays or just eat-days with my family and the precious moments of pure connectedness (yes made that up) with the boy. today reminds us of the little things you can miss about a person, time, or place. again, i know i have chosen to be where i am right now, but that doesn’t mean that this journey doesn’t include days like this. i know that in the end it will all be worth it. i just have a hard time seeing that everyday.
i’ll spend the next couple days taking care of me with a little bit of pampering (this always makes a girl feel better), some nice refreshing home-cooked food, and knocking out my list of things to do (have to continue working, naturally). by next week i expect to be back to normal, working long hours, dealing with students, and diligently trying to do all that is necessary to get finished with this program in 2 years.
have nice weekend everyone…
so i have just returned from a wonderful holiday (*smile) in sorrento, italy. a very good friend of mine got married there on saturday. it was like a fairy tale. i’ll have pics to add to this post in a few days. the events of the past few days are better told with photos instead of words. i mean really, how to do you describe 90 degree weather, blue water, a serene atmosphere, and good food and do it justice? you’ll just have to wait and see the pics. the best part of the trip was that i got a chance to see some old friends that i haven’t seen in years and i had the opportunity to eat lots, and lots of good food (including my favorite, gelato!) i’m sure you’re all wondering how/why/when all this was possible since i’m student. well, let’s just say the boy and i know how to travel, and travel for cheap. maybe i should write a book about that one day. and in this book, i can give great detail on how NOT to pick a taxi in rome and get your driver mad with you.
the italian holiday almost took a turn for the worst on the very last day. we managed to make it to our last hotel, but not before almost being kicked out of the “rome city taxi” only driver who spoke very little english, but who wanted to charge us double the fare. it was touch and go for a minute, but we managed to say “graci” at least 300 times with dumb looks on our faces and he graciously let us go after we gave him all the euros we could pull together. but wait…there’s more….
monday morning we made it to the airport using the hotel shuttle only to find out that our flight was delayed 2 hours. this, coupled with the 11 hour plane ride back to atlanta (yep, hurricane dan was causing all kinds of havoc supposedly) caused us to miss our connection to charlotte. naturally, i also missed my connection home to indy. needless to say, i had to teach my first lecture at 12noon on tuesday and i didn’t arrive back in indy until 915am. talk about jet lag and seeing things. graciously i managed to make it through the 2 lectures (yes, back to back sections) just fine and still had a smile on my face when it was all over.
lesson learned from the past few days:
(1) never fly delta or hire a taxi in rome. no. never. don’t. do. it.
(2) slides from the book publisher are the greatest thing ever!
(3) students really will give you the benefit of the doubt if you at least attempt to be funny during class 
(4) never underestimate a good TA…they are life savers
to my 2.5 readers out there, thanks for being patient.
I have been away resting for the summer. last year was very challenging. i clearly underestimated the phd. why did i think that since i had been in the program for my masters that moving right into the phd would be easy?!?! ummm not so much. however, getting through the last 2 semesters proved to me that i have what it takes to finish. i’m going to really focus now for the next 2 years so that i can be finished in two years. so…join me as i stumble through teaching my first class, formulating a dissertation topic, and drafting the perfect paper to get published in a top journal. oh the joy the semester has in store….
*update on the conferences/papers from a previous post…
yes, i was invited to all 3 conferences. I presented the poster at 1, my co-author presented a poster at a 2nd one and i presented a paper at the 3rd. on top of that i even got a reward. awesome and shocking all at once.
